Hummus Shmummus!

After making such a splendid batch of pesto it seemed like a royal shame to have it sit alone in the fridge without a playmate. Being the generous and obliging soul I am, I decided that hummus would be a fitting companion. So I went to work.  And do you know what I discovered?  Do you know what hit me over the head like a drunken polar bear as I licked my greedy little fingers clean of chick-pea delight? This simple beast is not so simple. It's a real JERK sometimes.

I can never seem to imitate it, and that scares me.

What do they put in that stuff? Sabra, Trader Joe's, whoever-- I am at a major loss here, people.  I want it so bad and it's supposed to be easy enough for a blind chipmunk to make, but it never seems to taste as good as the store-bought.  I liked mine just fine and it was amazing with the pesto, folded up in a wrap with some spinach. But it lacked that thing. That missing link.  Find it I shall!

In case you want my recipe (why wouldn't you after the above delivery of its merits) here you GO!

You're making more lasagna...?

Yes.  Yes I am.  Ever since I lectured myself on the beauty and wonder that is a perfectly crafted lump of pasta-sauce-cheese, I just can't get enough of the stuff.  I found myself sneaking (who am I hiding from? my cat?) into the refrigerator late at night (grandma here considers "late" to be about, oh, 8:45pm) and snarfing spoonfuls.  I had to hide it in the freezer.  Whew! Dodged that bullet.

But now the guns are blazing again, ready for round two.  AND I'm going to finish it off with a lavender (there it is!) cheesecake with a lemon glaze.  What's the number for Jenny Craig...? Get it on my speed dial, STAT.

MMmm calories.

Lemon sans Lavender...

I promised Lemon-Lavender Bars, an excursion into the unknown (at least for me), but alas.  Every other conceivable spice/herb/plant based baking item was on the shelf, but not our much sought Lav!  Could I interest you in a lemon-gumbo file bar?  No?  How about essence of cardamom? Maybe not.

Well, let's not cry about it.  Biting into a lemon bar reminds you that there still is good in the world, so we won't deprive ourselves of that joy just because some stupid grocery store didn't have the common decency to properly stock their shelves...names shall remain unmentioned.

I have yet to be let down by this recipe; after all, it came from my grandmother (she was a saint, and must have gotten this recipe from God himself).  On top of that unbeatable reference, it's easy as pie (which, funnily enough, isn't actually considered to be so easy.  More on that in the future.)

Let them eat cake

Here is a cake I made for my friend's mother:

White cake with lemon curd filling and cream cheese frosting.  I had intended to make a lavender frosting, but that idea went south when the meringue-buttercream curdled.  I very nearly cried!  It's hard to invest a pound of butter into a failed experiment.  But my next experiment is going to be even greater: Lemon-lavender bars!!! Are you ready for that jelly?

Until then, I will tide you over with the cream cheese frosting recipe, courtesy of Baker's Illustrated (the best baking book EVER) and tweaked a tad by yours truly.  This frosting was the perfect tart/sweet ratio and stood up well after piping. 
8oz cream cheese, softened
5T butter, softened
1 T light sour cream
1/2 t vanilla (or orange, almond, whatever goes best with what you're making)
1 3/4 c powdered sugar

Whip the first four ingredients in a standing mixer (the cream cheese and butter MUST be soft-- if not you will get lumpy frosting indicative of complete failure), scraping down the bowl.  Add the sugar and beat til smooth.  Lick fingers and dance around kitchen in ecstasy. 

The ever delicious and nutritious: Lasagna

Oh sure.  You could slap some beef ragu on some penne, maybe mix in a little cream if you're feeling frisky, and then call it a day.  But where's the love?  The comfort? The blood, sweat, tears??  If you want people to think you're merely average then I implore you to follow through with the above method of entertaining.  It'll get you a solid 3 out of 5.

But not this lady.  I want people (and by people, sometimes I mean just me...sometimes it's all just for me!) to know that I positively slaved over a complicated process that would make even Leonardo cross his eyes in wonderment.  And why?